My Dad

It's been a while since I posted anything and this is going to be a little off-topic from my usual blog posts but here we go. No deep abstract philosophy. No probing into the nature of reality. No, today I thought I would take a little time to talk about my father and why I think he's a great dad.

Father's Day is tomorrow and it's hard to imagine an occasion better suited to this topic than that. Also, my father's father passed away a couple weeks ago so the whole "fatherhood" thing has been on my mind. Not that I want to be a father myself (I have no plans on doing that) but just ideas of what makes a good dad.

'Tis a gift to be simple

I come from a very simple family. I don't that mean that in a derogatory sense. By simple, I mean that my family doesn't have complex, long-standing points of drama or tension between family members. By simple, I mean that we don't need a lot of stuff to keep us together and entertained. By simple, I mean that we have a clear notion of what's important: family.

Now, don't hear me wrong on this. I didn't say that we never have tension or drama in our family. That happens from time to time but we know and love one another so it fades into the background. I didn't say that we're minimalists who shun every earthly possession in pursuit of some higher form of spiritual being. I have a hard time imagining that being the case with anyone of my siblings or my parents. However, we don't put a lot of stock in "stuff." We're not obsessed with owning the latest and greatest thing or keeping up with the Joneses. I didn't say that we have no other aspirations in life other than family but, far and away, it's family that comes first before yourself.

Why is this? It's due, at least in part, to my father.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

I hate conflict. There's not a good way around saying it other than to just say it: I hate conflict. Just the idea that there's something that I disagree with someone on and I have to deal with it in some way just drives me crazy. There's this welling up of anxiety within me knowing that a moment of disagreement is coming and it's all that I can do to stand there to talk it through.

One thing that I've learned from my father is that you need to have the patience to make peace. By that, I don't mean that he's a great diplomat of some sort but, if there's something or someone that you truly care about, you'll do whatever it takes to make sure that it stays intact and grows. No matter how much you hate your current situation, if there's something that needs to be done and you're the only one to do it, then, by God, you do it.

How does my dad accomplish this? Through the power of meekness. Now, I know what some of you are thinking: "Isn't meekness that same thing as being a pushover?" If you knew my father, you would see what meekness looks like and you would understand the strength and wisdom of it.

I'm taking this a little out of context but consider Jeremiah 17:8

They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.

This is the power of meekness. Meekness is like a tree planted by the water. It doesn't completely disregard the scorching heat of trial but it realizes that the heat will only last so long and pushes through without complaint. It doesn't despair over the lack of resource in a bad year but it realizes that this too shall pass and pushes on, as best as it can. Meekness is not being too weak or amicable to take action. Quite the contrary. A meek man sees what is before him and says "How can I resolve to make life better for others, even at cost to myself." A meek man uses his strength and wisdom, not for his own gain, but for the benefit of those he loves. In this way, my dad is a meek man.

This is one of the ways I idolize my dad. This is a man who worked tirelessly for years to provide the best he could for his family and still does for his grandchildren. This is a man who, without question, does what he can to support me in all my endeavors, whether they were completely silly (like theater or football) or very wise (like majoring in computer science or graduate school). This is a man who doesn't speak much but, when he does, his words carry with them a weight that is undeniable. This is a man whose work ethic is the only reason that great things can be achieved. This is a man who knows what it means to have character and integrity because he exudes character and integrity. This is a man who asks little and expects little but will move mountains to get things done for the ones he loves.

This is why I want to strive for meekness because I have seen the fruits of its labor and I know that it is good.

This is why drama between family members cannot stand. This is why possessions are not held in high regard. This is why we know that family is important. It's this meekness that stands on the shoulders of this deep love we have for one another. It's this ability to make peace and make due. It's this calm demeanor and selfless nature that makes this possible.

I say all this to say, my dad's a pretty great dad and, while I don't want to do the job that he does, I want to grow up and have the same strength of will and quality of character as he has.

Happy Father's Day!