Down the Straight and Narrow

So I began this a few days ago and have been meaning to finish it but have been distracted by, you know, life and such.

The last post long and drawn out. Seemingly, it was also full of tangents as well but, let me assure you, it was all relevant information. And now, for some more random pieces of information.

A long time ago, before I was a member of a church in the area, I was going to Church 1 and speaking with the Pastor about the church's theology and structure, talking with him about every question I could think of, from baptism to ordination. Three things happened in the process:

1. The associate pastor asked me to be a Youth Counselor while I was visiting one time. You know how that turned out from my last post.
2. I was convinced that the church's theology had no faults that I could find and became a member (along with my wife)
3. I had the thought put in my head that I might want to be a pastor

That is a crazy idea I had not thought about at all.

I was raised Christian but when I was in high school, my family started to drift away from going to church. I felt something missing in my life at the time so I began looking for a church. Time and time again, I was sorely disappointed by the way I was treated as a teenager. No one took me seriously and why should they? The examples of Youth Groups around include kids who came, sang a lot, had fellowship time with each other (heaven forbid, teens would talk to adults), and never talked about deeper theological or spiritual topics. After a time, I became so frustrated that I crafted my own thoughts on how a church should be constructed.

Honestly, I was pretty naive. I tried starting it as a bible study with my friends and that just fell into bickering over the most pointless of arguments. That was a rough time for me, spiritually speaking. That's not to say that things have gotten easy but I have definitely learned some ways to cope (prayer of all sorts, typically).

At any rate, I moved here for grad school, as I mentioned before, and I decided to give a campus ministry a try. What I found was quite astounding. The moment I walked into the ministry, I knew that it was where I needed to be. My fellow students were friendly and engaging. There were small groups where we dug through some more penetrating theological issues. I loved it. My hope that Christianity could be a vibrant, communal faith was restored.

Fast forward, through my conversations with the Pastor, I learned that the doctrine and structure of his church was uncannily close to what I had envisioned. In fact, the ideas that I had had were already in practice and refined to a much more practical approach. Ideas I had not thought about were in place and oversights that I didn't see become obvious. I was truly impressed at the structure.

In one of the meetings, the idea of ordination came about and, I'm not quite sure how it got there, but a bug got into my ear, metaphorically speaking. I would have screamed bloody murder if that had literally happened. What would it like to be a pastor?

I mulled it over a bit, put it in the back of my mind, and went about life. Every once in a while, it would creep up again. I remember having a conversation with someone else who had mentioned that they thought I was going to go to become a pastor. I recall talking to the Youth Minister about how many people who become pastors find their way through Youth Ministry. There have been other conversations that I've had with my wife that have made me think about it.

Moreover, when I began teaching Sunday School, I realized how much I loved it. I know, it's not the same thing as being a pastor. There's a lot more to it than preparing a lesson for a (hopefully) captive audience but it really made come to grips with the idea that what I really want in life, more than anything else, is to help.

Deep down, I don't want glory or even to be remembered. That series of blog posts I did a while back about my assumptions truly reflects who I am as a person. Yes, I do have shallow desires. I would love to be remembered. It's a great feeling but it's not what I really want out of life. I want to be that tsunami for good, not just a drop in the ocean.

Anyway, now I'm starting to ramble. The biggest thing that I want to get off my chest is that I've been thinking about becoming a pastor. A lot. I've prayed about it. I've talked to a close friend or two. So far, nothing of consequence.

Again, I feel like I'm cutting this short because there's more that needs to be said. I will leave that for another post.

And the truth shall set you free!

I've been somewhat distant lately. I almost used the word "secretive" but it's not anything nearly that interesting. I've been struggling with a few things that I've needed to work out and am still working out as I write this. I'm fairly certain that I will offend most people that live in my area that have a faith connection with me. If you are one of those people, I expect that you will neither take this personally nor walk away from this post thinking that I have abandoned you. I am merely expressing thoughts and feelings that I've had lately and, no matter what it sounds like, I love you.

So, let me start at the beginning.

I moved to this area about four years ago for graduate school and, to make a long story short, I began dating the woman who would become my wife. While we were dating, we began looking for a church to go to. After going to a few of them, we found one that we really loved going to because of the music they have and the progressive theology they endorse. It's the church we were married in and the church in which I became a Youth Counselor and a Sunday School teacher.

Let me take a slight tangent here in our story to explain a little about how this came about. My wife and I were involved in a campus ministry (in fact, that's how we met). However, when I knew that, when I graduated, I couldn't stay a part of a campus ministry forever (unless I became a campus pastor or something along those lines). So, I began to pray about what ministry I should enter into next. Now, I could go on and on about the power of prayer but I'd rather not spend the time in this post about it so let me just say that the prayers were answered by an associate pastor approaching me one day and asking me if I wanted to be a part of the Youth Ministry. I was apprehensive at first but, knowing that God answers prayers in ways I don't understand, I eventually agreed to take it on.

There is no doubt in my mind that it was one of the best decisions of my life. Personally, I have grown so much as a leader, teacher, and Christian since I became a Youth Counselor that I will never fully know the extent to which my life has been changed by being a part of this group. On top of that, I gotten to effect the lives of quite a few teens (hopefully, to their betterment as well).

After a year and a half of being a Youth Counselor, I was asked if I wanted to take over leading Youth Sunday School. Again, I was apprehensive but, again, it was one of the best decisions of my life.

I'd love to say everything turned out to be roses and rainbows but, unfortunately, I don't live in fantasy-land. After a while, it became more evident to my wife and I that the progressive theology that we fell in love with did not have the depth and relational background that we needed in a church. We knew that God loved us, we heard it every week, but we didn't walk away from sermons feeling challenged and we didn't walk away from services feeling connected. Now, while the former is an area of contention for which I think the blame lies more squarely on the shoulders of the clergy whom have no intention of changing, the blame of the later is mitigated by the fact that my wife and I are not the primary audience being reached by the congregation. The primary focus of the church is, more so, for children and people with children, a spectrum my wife and I do not fall into.

After several painful conversations and sleepless nights, we decided that we needed to move on. We began attending the church that sponsors the campus ministry we were a part of. This meant that I gave up teaching Youth Sunday School (something that I have still not fully come to terms with yet) in exchange for closer relationships and challenging sermons. Also, they found out that I was a Youth Counselor and wanted me to help out with their Youth Ministry. Now, I was still doing Youth Ministry at the other church but I saw that the times didn't interfere with each other so I told them I would try it out.

A few weeks into the school year, the new Youth Ministry decided to change the meeting time to the same time as the old Youth Ministry. So, again, I needed to make a tough decision. In the end, I decided to stick with the old Youth Ministry, since I had more of my time invested in it and I believe more so in its guiding principles.

So, that's most of the background information.


Here's the thing: the two faith communities lack exactly what the other has, as far as I can tell. I would sum them up with the following Bible verses.

Church 1 is Micah 6:8 - He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Church 2 is Matthew 28:18 - 20 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Church 1 is focused, very much so, on spreading God's love by acts of justice and kindness. For example, the Youth program does a mission trip every year to a place where the teens are shown how to help destitute people. Believe me, if you've never been on a mission trip before, I recommend that you do it at least once in your life. I've never felt better about a week's worth of work than when it's done out of charity for the less fortunate. Truly a humbling and inspiring experience.

Church 2 is focused, very much so, on spreading God's love by telling people the good news and building positive relationships. For example, the Youth program does a retreat every year to build relationships and reflect on the awesomeness of God. Again, I've been on retreats before and they've been eye-opening experiences into the core of my personal beliefs and convictions. Great experience.

Do you see the problem here? There's multiple ways to spread God's love.

The first approach is the Saint Francis of Assisi approach: "Preach the gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words." The way that it preaches the good news into people's lives is by taking a loving but hands-off approach to it. It's a selfless endeavor but too an extreme of almost not building relationships in the body of believers.

The second approach has it's benefits and faults as well. The way it preaches the good news into people's lives is by taking the direct route of building relationships with people so that they can know God better and more personally. It's a very spiritually-sound method of doing it but it can be, at times, somewhat self-serving since it focuses on building up the ranks of a church rather than truly helping those in need.

There's more that needs to be said here but this is long enough for the time being and I'll say the remainder in a different post. For now, I'll leave you to post your comments. I appreciate any that you may have.

Substance

I don't like politics. By I don't like politics, what I really mean, is I don't like the way people treat each other in the political sphere. One man or woman attacking another just so they can appear better. It detracts from the purpose of why politicians are there in the first place. It's not to be a good liar, though, granted, things that wouldn't get done with an honest person can get done with a liar. It's not to be seen as a great leader, though, again, great leaders can unify people and really get things done. It's to be seen as a willing servant for the greater good. A politician should speak to how he or she has and would spend their time helping the community and prove it with what they have already done. Arguments between two ideologies will happen but there's a reasonable and responsible way to have a conversation. A brawl of words should never appear on a political stage.

Unfortunately, that's too idealistic. Most people don't want to talk about what needs to happen or how we'll get there. Oh, no. They want to see politicians squirm and fight like a herd of demon-possessed pigs. They don't want facts, they want hyperbole and anecdotes.

This is true in a number of settings. Whenever I hear a sales pitch for a new product that my company is thinking about investing in or a company that we could be partnering with, it's the same thing. I'm given a handful of shallow facts while being whisked on a grand tour of "our product is so much better than the other guy's" and "how much better would your company be if you had this". Sadly, I know no other way that sales could work because the people making the decisions want to hear that they're going to make the right decision by using the widget because it's going to save the company so much money and the other guys' widget isn't nearly as shiny. Really? This is how we think?

What about when it comes to philosophy or theology?

I'm a fan of Socrates. The Socratic method is a wonderful tool that I believe many people could benefit from if they took the time to hold real conversations with other people about what things mean. However, as good old Uncle Ben says, with great power comes great responsibility. As the Apostle Paul wrote about numerous times in the New Testament, it's difficult to pull people away from arguing at length about the smallest of matters and, often times, becoming divisive over it. I mean, how many Christian denominations are there? How many of those denominations were formed because people couldn't agree on a theological matter that bore no significance on how people lived their life?

Here's what I'm getting at. I like to talk at the thousand foot level. I like to talk about random stories because they're quirky and, hopefully, interesting. There comes a point in time that we need to get down to brass tacks (whatever that means). I would describe myself first and foremost as a thinker. Only later, do I realize, I must also be a doer and that that which I think about, must have some relevance to what I do. Otherwise, what else is it other than empty talk.

I closed out the last post of my assumptions series last time and, while it began as a something that was highly abstract (I assume that reality exists), I tried to bring it to a logical conclusion that's practical and, I hope, motivational. I would strongly advise others out there to do the same. I know I don't have a lot of followers and I doubt that any one person has read all of my posts (other than me, of course) but I know for a fact that reading about how much some person deals with a specific situation has a narrow scope to which my life is effected. On the other hand, if someone posts about interesting stories and/or speaks in an abstract manner, I find it very difficult to have any real impact on my life.

In summary, we need facts to ground ourselves in our doing and hyperbole/anecdotes to help us move forward in our thinking. That, my friends, is substance.

Moderation

It's been too long but this will be my final post pertaining to assumptions I have made concerning existence. Don't worry, I will still post but it may be less focused. That's probably how you like it though so I'm sure you don't mind.

I don't normally drink beer but, when I do, I prefer Guinness. No offense to the most interesting man in the world and Dos Equis might be a great beer (I've never tried it) but I like to drink some that has a lot of good flavor to it. Much to the chagrin of the larger breweries (like Budweiser and, my hometown favorite, Miller), I don't like drinking beer that tastes like it's already been through someone's digestive track.

Why is one drink so much better than another? Personal preference, potentially but I think it has to do with content of the brew itself. There's going to be a certain percentage of the drink that's going to be water, hops (or maybe even rats though I find that hard to believe) along with other ingredients that make the beer distinct. However, for our purposes of simplicity and my points, let's focus on the water. In order to not immediately turn your blood immediately into alcohol or in order to appreciate the taste or maybe even in order to sell less product at a higher profit, brewers will add water. However, adding too much water will ultimately destroy the product. At some point, the beer tastes more like water than an alcoholic beverage or it won't fulfill the true intent, which, as everyone who's truthful with themselves, knows that it's to either take the edge off or go to the point of not feeling feelings (a state of being I do not recommend).

What am I getting at? Certainly not my preferences in alcoholic beverages. They can be good at times, don't get me wrong, but I really don't care that much at all about them. The point I'm driving at here is moderation. Yes, drinking in moderation and being responsible is important but it's also important, from the brewer's perspective, to be moderate with the amount of poison that's put in the brew by watering it down.

And now for something completely different and one of the two theses of this blog post:

You are a one-of-a-kind person but you are not, in any way, special in a general sense.

This is a concept that I believe, to the core of me, but wrestle with constantly as it applies to my own life. As I must, let me explain.

You are unique and you should never doubt that. However, so is everyone else. This is, all too often, taken to two extremes.

Extreme 1: Overdose - The philosophy of "if you aren't special at all, then your life doesn't matter" is a dangerous one. It leads to destructive behavior, both towards others as well as yourself. If life doesn't matter, then your actions don't matter and you can do whatever you want because, in the end, there's nothing to care about that isn't artificially constructed.

I take issue with Nihilism, if you couldn't tell but not on the logical arguments that it makes. It's quite difficult, if not impossible, to argue with nihilism based on arguments alone because, in the end, you can't prove anything from foundations. A foundation must lay upon some other foundation and I don't think it can be turtles all the way down. It's no way to live. Even if we cannot find some root to sprout from, we must grow our knowledge in some fashion, even if our seeds and soil are assumptions. However, let's not forget about the last people who attempted take fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. Everyone needs to take precautions against being banished from the great Garden and be willing to sacrifice that Tree, if the need arises.

Extreme 2: Watered Down - I am a professed Christian. I may not have expressed that here and the fact that I'm taking about drinking may detract from your belief in that statement but, nevertheless, I stand by claim. I attend a church regularly and, last Sunday, my pastor spoke to the children about how each and everyone of them was special. He pointed to their fingerprints for evidence of that. He told them that God loved them and sent them on their way. He did the exact same thing today but with bubbles instead of fingerprints. This is what originally got me thinking about this part of the blog post. That and my increasing frustration with my pastor's theology but that's another story for another time. It adds greatly to my point.

I take issue with everyone being special because, if everyone is special, then no one is really special. I don't want to sound like a bitter old man (believe it or not, I'm still quite young) but special used to mean something. According to my definition of special, one must stand out. A red rose among a dozen white, a cygnet among ducklings, or a pacifist among warmongers, these are special. Individuals, as they are alive and walk among us, are not special in and of themselves.

Moderation: Ideal elixir - You have an opportunity here to be great. Don't mess it up. If you do, sure, there will be more opportunities to redeem yourself and leave an impression on those who go before you. That's ultimately what you want to do though, isn't it? If you believe there is nothing you can do to be special, you will do nothing to be special. If you believe there is nothing you can do to escape being special, you will do nothing to be special. The key here lies in a sermon that my pastor preached that I actually do agree with. That one is that you need to take action.

If you are to be remembered for generations to come, if you have any hope of immortality beyond the mortal coil you shuffle off, you must make efforts towards maximizing the measure your life has on the remainder of reality. Here in lies my final assumption in this series and my final these:

The best way to maximize the effect your life has on the remainder of the universe is to align your actions with reality.

I could go on a tangent about how Christianity is the way to go with this. I could tell you about how I believe that the will of God is the true reality but, if you really want my theological stance, write me a message in the comments and I'll shove religion down your throat as much as you'll let me. That's not my point here. My point is that you have to find something to believe and align yourself to the best of your abilities with it. If it's a divine father figure, then obey your parent as best as you can. If you believe that the ultimate reality is uncover all of the knowledge in the universe, then pursue it wholeheartedly.

In sum, don't drink. If you do, do it in moderation. Then again, as Petronius supposedly once said, "Everything in moderation, including moderation." With a name like Petronius, who can argue with him?